This is me broken
For months you’ve documented this spiral
Downward with flashbulbs and camera rolling
This is me broken
Same body you praised for hourglass
Now ridiculed as ticking time bomb
There will be no explosion
No million dollar video of rage and destruction
This is me broken
Soft disintegration of will and resolve
I am nothing but human
In this moment
Torn
In this moment
weak
In this moment
A girl who seeks ground soft enough
To sink into

This is me broken

If tears were found
Toxic enough to kill
I would gladly sell tickets
To my suicide

This is me broken
Crazy
insane
Scream it neon from headlines
Remove all empathy and compassion
From your tongue
Forget that I am maybe your daughter
Probably your sister
Often the you refused in the mirror
I am reflection of this need to build
And destroy

Maybe, when death comes
I will be remembered for
Something other than these moments
Origami folded into history
Beautiful and delicate
“Here lies Britney. She begged you to love her.”

Maybe then there will be some remorse
Melted and honey sweet in your mouth
Sing me a praise song
The girl who needed love in life
Fashioned it out of outburst
And fishnets
Or maybe, remember me for the boys
The babies I’m in need of too much
Mothering to mother
Remember me more than dismissed trailer trash
Or spoiled child star
More than this cliché of poor little lost rich girl

I am a woman who bleeds so often
I’ve forgotten what healing feels like

So when the end comes
Barreling down on you like
Expectation and disappointment
Remember me beautiful
Change the epitaph let it read:

Here lies Britney…
you used to love her.